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Carnival for Literary Junkies - September 3, 2007

Welcome to the September 3, 2007 edition of carnival for literary junkies.

Cade Krueger presents Rich Dad, Poor Dad posted at Write To Right

Book Reviews

Aruni Gunasegaram presents Babble Soft’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Art of War for Women - The time has come for the Woman’s Century! posted at Babble Soft's Blog, saying, "I found this book helpful in my career as a work-at-home mother and entrepeneur."

GrrlScientist presents Lab 257 posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Like something out of The Andromeda Strain, Lab 257, by Michael Christopher Carroll, tells the chilling true story about the not-so-secret animal disease lab right next door to NYC."

artThailand presents The First Casualty posted at artThailand. A review of Ben Elton's new novel.

Fiction

zenofeller presents ASYLUM, the novel. posted at zenofeller.com. The Asylum Website.

Elvis D presents Violence Is Golden posted at 365fiction.

Elvis D presents Betrayal posted at 365fiction.

Literary Criticism

Gillian Polack presents gillpolack: A third entry today? Blame sartorias. posted at Even in a Little Thing.

Misc.

GrrlScientist presents Regarding The AP-Ipsos Poll of Book Readers posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Some thoughts about an interesting poll regarding the reading habits of Americans."

Writing

Michael Fowke presents Money is the way will grow (inspired by Dylan Thomas) posted at Money is the way, saying, "Poem inspired by Dylan Thomas"

Holly Ord presents The Written Word posted at Menstrual Poetry.

Rickey Henderson presents Beard Watch 2007 Update posted at Riding with Rickey, saying, "A Jack London inspired story about one man's quest to grow a beard. Enjoy."

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The Ned Zone

Just Felt Like having a little Simpson's and Stephen King crossover moment.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Dear Readers, I am very sorry but I am posting a short-short story. It has been a favorite in other circles. I am posting it because I want very much to submit something to the short story carnival. I promise that I will try not to be one of these niche writers who also forces his fiction on you. Well without further adieux... Wardrobe Malfunction, Thank you.


Dear Victoria's Secret,

Recently, I lost my mind while in your store. First of all, I must mention that I work in a mine and that I don't receive a lot of human contact. I am thirty-four years old and have never been on a date. When I was just a young miner, my face was mangled in a mining accident. To cope with my disfigurement, I began spending more and more time underground.

In a fit of loneliness, I decided to go to the local mall and reacquaint myself with the outside world. It was there that I saw your store. After that, everything went horribly wrong. I had never seen anything like your store before. I made the worst mistake of my life when I went inside. As I found myself surrounded by lace and leather, I realized that I could not stop thinking about my mother.

I was so over stimulated that I could not think clearly. The next thing you know, I was stuffing every piece of underwear that I could find into my pockets. My foreman found me in the mine later that day in a pink negligee.

Ever since then my coworkers have not looked at me the same. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to live through the humiliation. But I also do not think that I can abandon this newfound thrill. And since this whole situation is mostly your fault, I should get at least a fifty percent discount at your store. At the very least you should give me some of your underwear, preferably used.

Sincerely,

Marge Henderson

PS. I am keeping the pink negligee.

Miss Potter Review

Amidst all the explosive blockbusters, Miss Potter is the best movie I have seen since Finding Neverland. In my mind, it beat out huge films like 300, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Order of the Phoenix. And, if you know my love for violence and dark humor in movies, this is a very, very big deal. It is Huge!


Miss Potter is the biographical story of Beatrix Potter who is possibly the most famous children’s author of all time with the exception of maybe JK Rowling or Doctor Seuss. Her works include the classics of my childhood. Classic tales (tails) such as The Tale of Peter Rabbit and The Tale of Two Bad Mice.


Renee Zellwegger and Ewan McGregor gave the best performances of their lives and as far as I am concerned, they have lived up to the high standards set by Johnny Depp in his portrayal of playwright, JM Barry in Finding Neverland. Miss Potter conjured some of the same magic and tears that I felt while watching Neverland.


Both movies were filled with magic of the best kind. It was innocent and childish magic. A child’s magic is concentrated and uncontrolled and is only limited by his or her imagination. It is a force that is not yet corrupted by foolish adults and their attempts to control the world around us. Sadly, we live in a world where anything that is controlled too quickly becomes corrupted.


Beatrix Potter’s books are to little girls what JM Barry’s play Peter Pan was to young boys. The greatest thing about both authors is that children of both sexes can enjoy their works. As a child, I spent a lot of time sneaking into Farmer Macgregor’s garden, but not nearly as much as I spent flying around Never-Neverland. Both authors have created timeless tales that captured the very nature of what is like to be young. And it was amazing how both films captured the imagination of the authors.


Miss Potter was a refreshing film that reminded me that films don’t need sword-wielding barbarians, high dollar special effects or epic battles against evil to be enjoyable. Miss Potter is a simple love story that reminded me of what it was like to be young.

David Sedaris Book Reading

Harry Potter Review

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie. The previous film was mediocre at best. The Goblet of Fire contained very little special effects or magic in general. I mean it’s a movie about wizards. I need more magic than just a few sparkly butterflies. But I am glad to say that they came through with flying colors with The Order of the Phoenix.

Warning this post contains Order of the Phoenix Spoilers. I apologize for doing it but it was necessary. The filmmakers made an excellent movie but they forgot to film one thing and at the end of this article, I must rectify that.

This movie met all my criteria for a successful film. Here are the top ten reasons I think that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was the best film this year:

1. It was Dark

2. It had a well developed plot, no irrational Disney Moments. His parents couldn’t save him this time.

3. They finally threw down with some real magic, no more child magic.

4. Sirius Black aka Gary Oldman.

5. Harry finally confronts the darkness inside himself.

6. It had great CGI.

7. Harry gets pissed.

8. It has a great message: Friendship is what defines us.

9. JK Rowling is hot.

10. We actually got to see the dark lord for a change even though he looks ridiculous with no nose.

As far as I could see, the movie only had one flaw. There was a character that consistently made headlines throughout most of the series. That man was one Sirius Black. And yet his greatest moment of the entire series was overlooked in the final headlines so here it is. I hope that it honors him.

Notorious wizard, Sirius Black was murdered today by his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. Reports from Azkaban Prison state that she recently followed in her cousin’s footsteps to become only the second person to ever escape from Azkaban. After escaping from Azkaban, she joined the recently returned Lord Valdemort in a battle against an underground wizard resistance group named the Order of the Phoenix. During the battle Ms. Strange murdered her cousin, Sirius Black. Witnesses report that she hexed Sirius in the back. Sirius Black is survived by his god son, Harry Potter.