The Literary Junkie

Production Blog

2007-11-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

http://blueskeltonproductions.blogspot.com/

Carnival for Literary Junkies - September 3, 2007

2007-09-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the September 3, 2007 edition of carnival for literary junkies.

Cade Krueger presents Rich Dad, Poor Dad posted at Write To Right

Book Reviews

Aruni Gunasegaram presents Babble Soft’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Art of War for Women - The time has come for the Woman’s Century! posted at Babble Soft's Blog, saying, "I found this book helpful in my career as a work-at-home mother and entrepeneur."

GrrlScientist presents Lab 257 posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Like something out of The Andromeda Strain, Lab 257, by Michael Christopher Carroll, tells the chilling true story about the not-so-secret animal disease lab right next door to NYC."

artThailand presents The First Casualty posted at artThailand. A review of Ben Elton's new novel.

Fiction

zenofeller presents ASYLUM, the novel. posted at zenofeller.com. The Asylum Website.

Elvis D presents Violence Is Golden posted at 365fiction.

Elvis D presents Betrayal posted at 365fiction.

Literary Criticism

Gillian Polack presents gillpolack: A third entry today? Blame sartorias. posted at Even in a Little Thing.

Misc.

GrrlScientist presents Regarding The AP-Ipsos Poll of Book Readers posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Some thoughts about an interesting poll regarding the reading habits of Americans."

Writing

Michael Fowke presents Money is the way will grow (inspired by Dylan Thomas) posted at Money is the way, saying, "Poem inspired by Dylan Thomas"

Holly Ord presents The Written Word posted at Menstrual Poetry.

Rickey Henderson presents Beard Watch 2007 Update posted at Riding with Rickey, saying, "A Jack London inspired story about one man's quest to grow a beard. Enjoy."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
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The Ned Zone

2007-08-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

Just Felt Like having a little Simpson's and Stephen King crossover moment.

Wardrobe Malfunction

2007-08-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers, I am very sorry but I am posting a short-short story. It has been a favorite in other circles. I am posting it because I want very much to submit something to the short story carnival. I promise that I will try not to be one of these niche writers who also forces his fiction on you. Well without further adieux... Wardrobe Malfunction, Thank you.

Dear Victoria's Secret,

Recently, I lost my mind while in your store. First of all, I must mention that I work in a mine and that I don't receive a lot of human contact. I am thirty-four years old and have never been on a date. When I was just a young miner, my face was mangled in a mining accident. To cope with my disfigurement, I began spending more and more time underground.

In a fit of loneliness, I decided to go to the local mall and reacquaint myself with the outside world. It was there that I saw your store. After that, everything went horribly wrong. I had never seen anything like your store before. I made the worst mistake of my life when I went inside. As I found myself surrounded by lace and leather, I realized that I could not stop thinking about my mother.

I was so over stimulated that I could not think clearly. The next thing you know, I was stuffing every piece of underwear that I could find into my pockets. My foreman found me in the mine later that day in a pink negligee.

Ever since then my coworkers have not looked at me the same. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to live through the humiliation. But I also do not think that I can abandon this newfound thrill. And since this whole situation is mostly your fault, I should get at least a fifty percent discount at your store. At the very least you should give me some of your underwear, preferably used.

Sincerely,

Marge Henderson

PS. I am keeping the pink negligee.

Miss Potter Review

2007-08-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

Amidst all the explosive blockbusters, Miss Potter is the best movie I have seen since Finding Neverland. In my mind, it beat out huge films like 300, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Order of the Phoenix. And, if you know my love for violence and dark humor in movies, this is a very, very big deal. It is Huge!

Miss Potter is the biographical story of Beatrix Potter who is possibly the most famous children’s author of all time with the exception of maybe JK Rowling or Doctor Seuss. Her works include the classics of my childhood. Classic tales (tails) such as The Tale of Peter Rabbit and The Tale of Two Bad Mice.

Renee Zellwegger and Ewan McGregor gave the best performances of their lives and as far as I am concerned, they have lived up to the high standards set by Johnny Depp in his portrayal of playwright, JM Barry in Finding Neverland. Miss Potter conjured some of the same magic and tears that I felt while watching Neverland.

Both movies were filled with magic of the best kind. It was innocent and childish magic. A child’s magic is concentrated and uncontrolled and is only limited by his or her imagination. It is a force that is not yet corrupted by foolish adults and their attempts to control the world around us. Sadly, we live in a world where anything that is controlled too quickly becomes corrupted.

Beatrix Potter’s books are to little girls what JM Barry’s play Peter Pan was to young boys. The greatest thing about both authors is that children of both sexes can enjoy their works. As a child, I spent a lot of time sneaking into Farmer Macgregor’s garden, but not nearly as much as I spent flying around Never-Neverland. Both authors have created timeless tales that captured the very nature of what is like to be young. And it was amazing how both films captured the imagination of the authors.

Miss Potter was a refreshing film that reminded me that films don’t need sword-wielding barbarians, high dollar special effects or epic battles against evil to be enjoyable. Miss Potter is a simple love story that reminded me of what it was like to be young.

David Sedaris Book Reading

2007-08-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

Harry Potter Review

2007-07-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie. The previous film was mediocre at best. The Goblet of Fire contained very little special effects or magic in general. I mean it’s a movie about wizards. I need more magic than just a few sparkly butterflies. But I am glad to say that they came through with flying colors with The Order of the Phoenix.

Warning this post contains Order of the Phoenix Spoilers. I apologize for doing it but it was necessary. The filmmakers made an excellent movie but they forgot to film one thing and at the end of this article, I must rectify that.

This movie met all my criteria for a successful film. Here are the top ten reasons I think that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was the best film this year:

1. It was Dark

2. It had a well developed plot, no irrational Disney Moments. His parents couldn’t save him this time.

3. They finally threw down with some real magic, no more child magic.

4. Sirius Black aka Gary Oldman.

5. Harry finally confronts the darkness inside himself.

6. It had great CGI.

7. Harry gets pissed.

8. It has a great message: Friendship is what defines us.

9. JK Rowling is hot.

10. We actually got to see the dark lord for a change even though he looks ridiculous with no nose.

As far as I could see, the movie only had one flaw. There was a character that consistently made headlines throughout most of the series. That man was one Sirius Black. And yet his greatest moment of the entire series was overlooked in the final headlines so here it is. I hope that it honors him.

Notorious wizard, Sirius Black was murdered today by his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. Reports from Azkaban Prison state that she recently followed in her cousin’s footsteps to become only the second person to ever escape from Azkaban. After escaping from Azkaban, she joined the recently returned Lord Valdemort in a battle against an underground wizard resistance group named the Order of the Phoenix. During the battle Ms. Strange murdered her cousin, Sirius Black. Witnesses report that she hexed Sirius in the back. Sirius Black is survived by his god son, Harry Potter.

JK Rowling Interview

2007-07-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

I have a small confession to make: I am absolutely and completely in love with JK Rowling. Not only is she a great writer, she is a hottie as well. I decided to post my favorite TV interview of her in honor of my imminent Order of the Phoenix post and my imminent post on the Deathly Hallows. I might provide a spoiler or two for the Order of the Phoenix but I promise not to reveal a thing on the last book. Mostly I just wanted to share this great interview with all of you. All I can really say is: What a Dress!!!

50 Funniest Women Alive or Dead Abridged

2007-06-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

In Honor of Oxygen’s Show the 50 Funniest Women Alive, I have posted my own top 50 list of female comedians. Oxygen’s list tended to look at the woman’s looks rather than their ability to be funny so I posted a list of my favorite comedians in order of funniness. Of course I would have slept with any one of them but that is beside the point. And I do have to say something about Kelly Ripa (who is not on my list): What a hack, hosting a show in which you are number 6 on the list! My list has tragically been abridged due to the fact that I am about to fall unconscious. It was a long day, what can I say.

1. Lucille Ball

2. Mary Tyler Moore

3. Carole Burnett

4. Betty White

5. Doris Roberts

6. Georgia Engel

7. Rhea Perlman

8. Vivian Vance

9. Jane Curtin

10. Tina Fey

11. Ellen DeGeneres

12. Whoopi Goldberg

13. Juli Kavner

14. Lisa Kudrow

15. Shelly Long

16. Alex Borstein “He looka lika man”

17. Joan Cusack

18. Diane Keaton

19. Wanda Sykes

20. Carrie Fisher…

…50. Tracy Ullman

Philip K Dick Interview on A Scanner Darkly

2007-06-16T10:34:00.001-07:00

Prospero’s Book Burning Protest

2007-05-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Kansas City, MO -- In 1963, a Buddhist Monk named Thich Quang Duc, burned himself in the streets in protest of the oppression of Buddhists during the Vietnam War. And now Prospero’s Books located at 1800 West 39th Street — Kansas City, Missouri is burning their collection of unwanted books in protest for the fact that no one reads anymore. 20,000 books are slated to burn in the coming months. I think this is absolutely terrible crime reminiscent of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451.

The Buddhist Monk burned himself for an ideal, but he did not burn his Buddhist Texts. If Tom Wayne wants to make a protest he should burn himself (I don’t really mean that. It’s just a metaphor) not the books. are a form of culture that should not be destroyed no matter how frustrated you are with the market. If They are innocent.

I understand why Tom Wayne did it and I have no ill wishes towards him but this is wrong. Books should remain sacred, and I have a suspicion that this a publicity stunt and not a statement or protest. He has generated a lot of press for his bookstore and I am not going to criticize him for that. To be successful these days, you have to go to extreme marketing techniques. Once again, I am suspicious. To give him the benefit of the doubt, he might have done this to make a statement.

Independent bookstores are an endangered species in this country and they are nearly extinct. Burning valuable pieces of culture because you are upset about it is not a solution. Those books have value and to just send them up in flames is just as tragic as the slow death of the bookstores. I understand the statement and the frustration, I do. But this was a meaningless gesture. Trees died for those books and now you are wasting them. I don’t go out and shoot tigers just because no one cares about them any more.

The death of the independent bookstore is a sad tragedy. Don’t get me wrong, I love the indie book shops as much as anyone. But in a world of free trade and globalization there just isn’t much room for the little guy anymore. The marketplace has been consolidated. The problem is not that people aren’t reading. Online retail is what killed the independent bookstore. With gas prices, it’s just as cheap to pay for the shipping as it is to actually drive to the book store. People just don’t care about the bookstore atmosphere any more.

Over the past five years, I have seen the extinction of most of my favorite indie bookstores, and this has made me very sad. But in my lifetime, I will also see the extinction of many of my favorite animals including: penguins and polar bears and maybe a whole range of other animals. And I wish that I could so something about it, but the world is changing and we have come too far to go back. All you can do is try to improve the world in any way you can and try to find a place for yourself in it. We can save the animals, if enough of us work hard enough, but the nothing will save the indie bookstore.

That is why; I do not feel guilty or hypocritical in being an Amazon Affiliate. In the early days, I avoided Amazon but now I can’t even find a used book store unless I go to the thrift store. But the Thrift Store is in a part of town that is very difficult to get to. And even though it is partially responsible, Amazon is not the villain. It is just the next logical transition for the book market in a modernizing world.

As a literary addict, I have contributed thousand’s of dollars to the independent bookstore industry. But I could not save them and now they are gone and they are not coming back. I can either buy the books new at Borders (another megacorp), or I can get them used via Amazon. And give credit where it is due. In this changing world, Amazon created an ingenuous and useful service and I do not feel guilty in supporting them.

Regardless, burning books is not the solution. These are valuable pieces of our culture and some might be irreplaceable. There is a market for them and it is Prospero’s fault for not adapting their strategies. Creatures who do not adapt to their environment will not be fit for survival. I understand Tom Wayne’s position, and I would do anything to bring back the indies, just as I would do anything to bring back the African Tiger or the Elephant, but the reality is that by the time, I am able to do anything about it (besides giving donations) they will already be gone. And I will continue to support independent bookstores whenever I cross one’s path. But it has been a long time since I have even seen one. Amazon is the way of the future and I no longer feel guilty about using their service. And it is a lesson for all of us: In a rapidly changing environment, all of us must adapt or we will not survive.

Lucid Absinthe

2007-05-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

First of all, I would like to say that unlike some of my posts, the following is neither an endorsement nor an advertisement. I’d also like to say that while I do place advertisements in my site, I do not create posts for the sake of advertisement. However if I find a product that is related to what I am posting about, I will gladly include it as a service to you. If you like the item and buy it great, if not, no worries. Just please keep reading.

I started this site as a way to connect with other Literary Addicts not to make money. If you have any comments, requests, or suggestions please email me at blueskelton@gmail.com but remember to write “nospam” in the subject line without quotes so it will not get sent into the spam box.

I am writing this post; however, to inform you all that the green fairy has returned to the United States. For years Absinthe has been banned from import or production in the USa but now Lucid Absinthe has developed a line of Absinthe available for sale in the United States.

Any true Artist or Literary Addict needs to try absinthe just once in their lifetime. Absinthe and Love is what caused Van Gogh to cut off his ear.

I had the opportunity to try absinthe in California at a bar. I would relate the experience with you but I have submitted my account of the incident to a literary contest. But needless to say it was quite the evening. How did I taste Absinthe you ask if it is illegal in the United States? Well, it is only illegal to ship or produce absinthe. It is not however illegal to possess or sell it. So I got lucky and got to have a drink.

And now you too have a chance. I highly recommend picking some up if it crosses your path. It is an experience you will not soon forget. A word of caution; however, its maed up of 66% alcohol so whatever you do don’t expose it to an open flame. I hear that it is very volatile and very explosive. Oh and don’t forget to mix it with water. Have a starry night if you can, that’s a cocktail made of absinthe not a weird statement. But oh heck, have a starry night even if you don’t have any absinthe.

Children of Hurin

2007-05-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

If Achilles was the greatest warrior to have ever walked the face of this Earth, Turin Turambar would be the second greatest. Turin was the baddest man in Middle Earth. And now he is featured in JRR Tolkien’s new book Children of Hurin published in May of this Year. The book was compiled and edited by his son Christopher Lee.

For years Turin was forced to languish in the obscure and tedious history of M.E. entitled The Silmarillion. Only the most die-hard Tolkien fan would appreciate The Silmarillion and luckily I fit into that category. The book details the history of just about everything in Middle Earth including the weaponry. It features the Elves attempts to regain their sacred jewels (silmarils) which have been stolen by the dreaded Morgoth. But the book can be a bit tedious to read. However “Of Turin Turambar” and the story of Beren and Luthien are two of Tolkien’s most highly renowned literary works. Both of these were featured in The Silmarillion.

And now Children of Hurin has been published in JRR Tolkien’s own words in prose very similar to that found in The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings. The work was only edited in a few spots for clarity by Professor Tolkien’s son, Christopher Tolkien. I cannot say how excited I am to read this novel. I have peaked at it a few times (it reads so well) at the bookstore but so far I have lacked the funds necessary to purchase it.

The book is illustrated by renowned Tolkien artist Alan Lee who was influential in the creative portion of the Lord of the Ring’s movies. Many of the creatures and sets were based off his artwork.

The story of Turin Turambar is one of my most favorite works aside from The Iliad. For Turin’s glory on the battlefield is always what inevitably leads to his downfall. It represents the cruel irony of life, that sometimes even great glory can be turned into tragedy. There are twinges of Achilles and the Oedipus Myth intertwined in Turin’s story but it remains a unique story all to its own. I hope that you will order Children of Hurin and I also hope that you will enjoy it. If any of you have read it please email and tell me what you think. My email can be found in the author’s bio on the sidebar.

Ancestry.com has digitalized 90M War Records

2007-05-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

Wow this one is a writer’s wet dream. Ancestry.com has recently digitalized 90m war records detailing wars from the 1600’s all the way through Vietnam to our current War in Iraq. The records will be free to view on ancestry.com until June 6^th 2007 which is D-Day.

Genealogy has become increasingly popular on the internet but until now it was just a hobby I would never understand. Most of my family has passed on and I have no desire to dwell in the past. But I do respect genealogy. It is important to know where you came from and many families have rich histories. Who knows maybe this latest development will give me hankering someday to look for my roots.

Ancestry.com and its decision to make it a free service in the beginning is what has gotten me so pumped. While I am not into genealogy so much, I am fascinated with history, and I would love to attain more information on my grandfather who served in WWII and helped liberate the Buchenwald Concentration Camp.

This is a great resource for writer’s especially those interested in Creative Nonfiction and I hope that you all take advantage of it. I know that I will.

www.ancestry.com

Also here is a novel sponsored by ancestry.com which discusses the resiliency of Americans in an Apocalyptic time which I think is very relevant to today:

Submission Strategies

2007-05-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

A lot of people ask me what my strategy is for submitting manuscripts so I decided to make a little post detailing how I submit my work for publication. First I do a little market research via the internet or the writers guide. When I find a group of suitable markets (publications or contests), I write them down in a list, prioritizing them in order of:

1. How much I want to be published in that publication. I have goals for myself and some of these include certain publications that I am dying to be featured in.

2. How well my work fits their publication. This really should be my top priority but I don’t know any author that hasn’t wanted to be published in one given publication or another so sometimes this criterion falls to number 2. But I do try to refrain from submitting work that doesn’t at least resemble a Publication’s Submission Guidelines. If a Publication doesn’t like short stories, I am not going to submit a collection of Flash Fiction.

3. How much they pay. Most of the time I don’t really care if a publication pays anything. Getting your work out there should be your top priority. The chances of making any money in this business are slim and it’s far better to get yourself read. I have only hit gold once and that was just enough to pay for a little college. If you can gain enough airplay and notoriety, the money will eventually follow.

4. How convenient is their submission process? I know that snail mail submissions are possibly more lucrative than those who accept electronic submissions. But submitting electronically saves me time and money and so the submission method is always a consideration. But we will see if my laziness pays off or is detrimental to my writing career.

5. Do they accept simultaneous submissions? Sometimes I will begin with publications that accept simultaneous submissions so that I can send out multiple copies of my work at once. However in the unlikely situation that two publications would want to publish the same piece of work this might land me in a sticky situation.

Once I have done my research and I have made a list, I start with the first publication and attempt to submit my work as close to their submission policies as possible. Sometimes I put the publications who accept simultaneous submissions at the top of my list enabling me to kill more birds with one stone. Sometimes it’s better not to put all your eggs into one basket.

If I have other work that fits the guidelines of my itemized list. I will go to the second person on the list (who does not accept simultaneous submissions) and submit my work there. That way when the first publication inevitably rejects my work, I can send them another piece that might have already been rejected elsewhere.

Here is a basic overview of my submission process.

I complete a piece of Flash Fiction and I have deemed it ready for submission, I go to submit my work at Pedestal Magazine found here:

http://www.thepedestalmagazine.com/

Their guidelines can be found by clicking the “submit” button.

After a reasonable amount of time they will inevitably reject me and then I will submit my work to the Vestal Review found here:

http://www.vestalreview.net/Issue29/issue29.html

And so forth and so forth until I reach the end of my list or someone publishes my work. If my work is completely rejected I post it at the writing community I joined to be found here:

http://www.editred.com/

That way I can get comments on how to improve it until I add it to the archives which I will eventually anthologize and self-publish under the name Blue Skelton (My Pseudonym). If I am confident about my more successful work, I will submit it to a real publisher under my own name. Sometimes it helps to have multiple identities in this business. Authors are a bit like superheroes after all and no one will begrudge you a second identity.

I hope that provides some insight and advice towards submissions. And I am not saying that this is the best or most proven way. It is merely a strategy that works well for me. Feel free to adapt or improvise this into your own strategy. Thanks for reading and I hope that you found the information helpful.

Judith Kitchen Book Reading

2007-05-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

I had never been to a book signing before and I must admit that I did not know what to expect. Aside from my teacher, I had never even seen a published author. I had truthfully been in awe of my teacher for quite some time but just like hanging around any celebrity; eventually you reach some level of comfort. If I have in fact seen one of these authors they were flying under the radar, or I just did not recognized them. The pictures on the book jackets never do them justice. That and Hollywood celebrities have walked right in front of me in Los Angeles and I have not noticed. Sadly I am just not that observant and I am using staring at things that most people would consider mundane (like red squirrels for example, in my home they are grey).

But Judith Kitchen was a strange mixture of both the expected and the unexpected. I marveled at this woman who seemed so content to just be herself. I enjoyed how unique she was and how content she was to be unique. I was not in the presence of a mythical and legendary creature and yet I was. She definitely had mad skills. She was one of the most effective lyricists, I have ever come across. Her words drew me into a personal world I could never hope to understand beyond a glimpse.

Not having seen a published author before, I had built them up to be these rare and exotic creatures, when in fact; they are just really interesting creatures. And they are out there, and much more accessible than I had previously thought. I really enjoyed how Judith sat on the table casually. I thought that was a really cool thing. My teacher later confirmed that most authors stand behind podiums and recite into microphones. I think I would have been a little more intimidated had she spoken from behind the Microphone. But the fact that she sat on the table made everything just seem a bit more comfortable. As it was, I just sat there with a big dumb grin on my face. I was extremely tired and she was making me laugh.

Mostly she recited passages from her work. I especially liked the ones from Only The Dance. Her childhood was what interested me most. When she moved on to her other works, I found it difficult to remain conscious. But even though I did not retain very much of her later passages, her lyrics soothed my aching mind and created a very enjoyable Friday afternoon. Had I walked a few less miles that week, I know that I would have been completely intrigued.

I did perk up however towards the end when she brought out an interesting concept. Her husband, a very intriguing and enjoyable chap, passed out photocopies of a strange old photograph. The photo depicted a very attractive woman in the wilderness surrounded by odd items. She carried an old fashioned record player and a big beautiful grin. Her husband almost passed out some unpublished work with the photograph, but unfortunately for anyone looking for a sneak preview, it was quickly recovered. However I was very interested in the uses of photographs for Fiction. Unfortunately I will keep these secrets to myself.